


As You Turn Away

by serohtonin



Series: Out of the Woods [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Canon Compliant, M/M, glee season six spoilers, reaction fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-11
Updated: 2015-01-11
Packaged: 2018-03-07 04:14:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3160808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serohtonin/pseuds/serohtonin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The breakdown and breakup of Kurt and Blaine. Blaine slowly comes apart and struggles in the aftermath. Reaction to 6.01 and 6.02.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As You Turn Away

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for the first two episodes of season six, as stated. Title taken from the song of the same name by Lady Antebellum. P.S. I still love Kurt (Disclaimer: I own none of these characters or their thoughts. I just like to expand on them occasionally).

Things are good at first.

After Rachel finishes moving out all her stuff, Blaine and Kurt redecorate the loft so it's more them and get into a paint fight while staining a vintage desk.

Of course that leads to showering together and appreciating their newfound privacy, not even closing the door as they strip off their dirty clothes and then make out under the stream of the water until it grows cold.

They don't even bother with dressing again, instead stumbling and laughing into their bedroom, continuing kissing for hours before finally giving into their greater need.

The next morning Blaine cooks breakfast in bed for them, complete with pancakes, eggs, and fresh fruit from their Farmers Market visit the prior weekend. They even take turns feeding each other and it's everything that Blaine has dreamed of and more.

But soon, the honeymoon wears off and he learns that living with Kurt again isn't all sunshine and sex.

It's causing petty arguments when one or both of them has had a rough day at school. It's turning the music up louder when they can't even tolerate speaking to each other at all. It's refusing to wait for Kurt to finish his shift at the diner and eating without him. 

It's drifting apart.

Blaine tries desperately to hold on to him anyway, throwing himself into planning the fabulous wedding that they both deserve. He asks Kurt's opinion on what flowers they should wear on their lapels and Kurt doesn't even look up from the magazine he's reading.

That night Kurt apologizes with kisses and promises to change, but for months, he stays the same. Blaine begins to wonder if the boy who had a binder full of fabric swatches, cake flavors and possible venues has disappeared.

He grows fearful that their relationship is slowly disintegrating in front of him and he doesn't know how to admit it to Kurt, or to himself.

He really doesn't want to, so he focuses on being the best student and protégé he can be, for his professors, for June, and for himself.

However he can't feel the same pride at succeeding when Kurt is silently studying right next to him on the couch. He used to feel delight at the brush of their thighs or a small joke to remind him that Kurt was still there, loving him and enjoying his company.

Now Blaine feels he could be swallowed into the earth and Kurt would barely notice.

Still, they occasionally watch movies together for study breaks and fuck once a week. Most of the time, Kurt doesn't even look at him during either activity.

Kurt rolls away from him in bed, and Blaine reaches out, but Kurt seems to recoil more and more every time.

It reminds Blaine of the night he confessed to his infidelity, when the chasm between them had been filled with a heartbreak so deep that he thought Kurt would never come back to him.

But by some magic, they found their way back to each other and had vowed to spend the rest of their lives together.

Those vows feel rather empty now.

Blaine hopes it's only temporary (every couple has issues, right?) and continues planning the wedding with little help from Kurt. 

Blaine is so overjoyed at the small victory that a venue opened up at the last minute that he can't help sharing the news with Kurt, even if it was part of the reason he showed up late to date night.

He's met with stoicism and then outright anger. A sliver of Blaine is glad that Kurt is showing any emotion toward him at all until he registers the word "quit" falling from Kurt's beautiful lips.

Then Blaine is falling into the abyss, alone once more, and like that night in the park, he can't fix it. All he can do is watch his future slip away from him again.

But this time he quickly gathers the strength to snap back with, "I will never forgive you for this."

For a moment he regrets it, wondering where they would be if Kurt had ever said that to him.

Maybe they'd be better off.

Blaine can't even go through with dinner after that and races back out into the rain, attempting to hail a cab that takes twenty minutes to pull up to the curb.

As he climbs into the backseat, the tears fall anew, laced with the shattering despair of his entire world collapsing because they couldn't make it work, _again,_ even with the glint of commitment encircling Kurt's finger.

When he finally returns to their loft, a stunning realization crosses his mind: that Kurt is his soulmate, but maybe he isn't Kurt's.

Kurt sleeps on the couch that night and every night after that as they start the fall semester at NYADA. Blaine agrees to look for a new apartment, since Kurt is still on the lease, but his search falls to the wayside in favor of sleeping all hours of the day and sporadically attending his classes.

Four weeks into the semester, Blaine goes to a random studio away from campus in hopes of practicing piano and salvaging his grades, though he can't even touch the keys once he's there.

His one solace forsakes him.

He doesn't want to bother Artie or any of his other friends; admitting his engagement is broken feels like a failure too real to process.

He stops going to class altogether and the dean places him on academic probation, but it still doesn't motivate him or bring his creative muse back.

Expressing himself through performing seems pointless when there's nothing left inside him.

After he gets a notice in the mail that he can no longer attend NYADA due to insufficient academic performance, Blaine showers for the first time in a week and calls his parents.

His mother asks him what he wants to do next and he breaks down while admitting that he doesn't know.

She offers him his old bedroom and he tells her he'll consider taking it.

After he hangs up, he packs a suitcase with all the clothes he can fit and throws essential items into a carry on bag. Then he books a flight online and scribbles a quick note to Kurt.

Blaine simply texts his mom:

_I'm coming home._

His childhood bed feels small and cold, and he thinks of messaging Kurt.

He can't, though, not when Kurt is the one who destroyed them.

Instead, he confesses the truth about his engagement to his mom.

She cradles him and he feels closer to healing but it's not enough.

He doesn't know what will put him back together or how long it will take, but he starts with therapy and then eventually, he finds music again, which leads to a job at his former school.

Then he finds a man who's not quite Kurt, which he quickly realizes might be good for him, until Kurt comes back to Lima, looking stunning as ever and utterly haunted.

Blaine pushes away the instinct to embrace him and never let go.

Why should he?

Kurt let him walk out a long time ago.

So Blaine leaves the bar with his new boyfriend, swallowing down the tightness in his chest and the guilt twisting in his gut that if he fought harder, he might still be with Kurt.

However, he realizes he could only fight the brick wall that is Kurt Hummel for so long before he ends up bruised, crumbling, and no closer to finding any minuscule passageway to Kurt's heart.

He has to keep moving forward.

Even if his beautiful past keeps staring straight at him, he won't look back.

It's time to build new dreams. 


End file.
